Let’s face it—being in your 20s is no joke. It’s a time when you’re figuring out who you are, developing “adulting” life skills, and trying to stay strong as you transition into your 30s. But here’s the thing: you don’t need to have it all figured out right now. In fact, it’s impossible. And that’s okay.

The Myth of Having It All Together

I see so many young adults who feel like they need to have their dream career, perfect relationship, and Instagram-worthy lifestyle locked down by the time they hit 25. That pressure is not only unrealistic—it’s downright cruel. When I was in my 20s, sure, we had aspirations. We were excited to leave the nest and try new things. But that was the key word: try.

Back then, the goal wasn’t perfection—it was about showing up and doing your best, knowing mistakes were part of the process.

The TV Trap: When Reality Didn’t Match the Script

Fast-forward to my 40s, when I was raising my own kids, I noticed something that made me stop in my tracks. One day, I caught an episode of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. If you’re unfamiliar, it started with two mischievous twins wreaking havoc in a luxury hotel. But by the time the spin-off came around (The Suite Life on Deck), they were being portrayed as teen businessmen.

Wait, what?

This marked a shift in how teenagers were being portrayed. Instead of being carefree and figuring life out, teens on TV started acting like mini adults—running businesses, solving crimes, or managing entire households with sass and perfection.

It didn’t take long for me to notice that my bright kids were mesmerized by these shows. Until…I started hearing the sassy one-liners directed at me. It was clear these scripted characters were influencing how my kids viewed themselves—and their relationships. So, I canceled the channel.

The point here is that so much of what we think we’re “supposed” to be like is manufactured. It’s fiction. And while TV shows and social media often portray polished, hyper-productive young adults, that’s not real life.

Reality Check: No One Has It All Together

Here’s what’s real: by nature, there’s no way you should have it all together in your 20s. This decade is your training ground. It’s when you experiment, stumble, and figure out what works for you. You’re honing your sweet spot—the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, and what you can offer the world.

Give Yourself Permission to:

• Mess Up: Mistakes are how you learn and grow.
• Take It Slow: Life isn’t a race. Your 20s are about building a foundation, not reaching the finish line.
• Question Expectations: Are the pressures you feel rooted in reality, or are they manufactured by TV writers or Instagram filters?

Enjoy the Journey

The most important thing? Find ways to enjoy the process. Take breaks. Celebrate the little wins. Remember, you’re not supposed to have all the answers yet. No one does, even if they act like they do.

So here’s your permission slip to cut yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. Keep learning, exploring, and growing at your own pace. And trust that you’re doing just fine—even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

Because the truth is, figuring out life is messy and beautiful—and the journey is what makes it all worthwhile.