My husband and I have been together for over 14 years. After both coming out of long marriages that didn’t last, we were determined to get it right this time. We wanted a deeper connection, a real partnership where we could grow together, not just survive. We believed in us, but it didn’t mean it was easy.
A few years ago, we faced the ultimate test: building a business together. There were days when we were tired and stressed, but through it all, we remained in love, making a good living, and—believe it or not—having fun. Not only were we defying the odds of a second marriage failing, we were also pushing back against the strain of working side by side every day. And when things got really tough, we sought advice and guidance from marriage counselors to help us navigate the rough spots. But the biggest shift? That came when we shared our CliftonStrengths with each other. That’s when everything started to make sense.
“My husband is a workaholic.”
In the beginning, I couldn’t understand why my husband had to fill every free moment with more work. We had built our business to a point where we could finally relax, but instead of enjoying downtime, he just found more things to do. I complained a lot, thinking he was overdoing it. It wasn’t until I discovered his #2 strength, Achiever, that I finally understood him. This wasn’t just some compulsive need to stay busy—this was his superpower. Achievers are driven by progress, by feeling accomplished, and it was part of his magic. And suddenly, I saw him differently. I saw the incredible energy he brings to everything he does, and I became grateful for it. (Yes, I’ve apologized for my complaints more times than I can count!) Now, with the business sold and more free time, I’m loving the part of him that knows how to play just as hard.
CliftonStrengths translation: My husband’s number #2 talent theme is ACHIEVER.
“My wife has trouble finishing projects that she has started.”
That’s me. The queen of grand ideas and half-finished projects. I used to feel guilty about it. I’d get all excited about a new concept, dive in, and then inevitably move on to the next exciting idea. My mind races with creativity, but it often leaves a trail of unfinished dreams. I didn’t realize that my #2 strength, Ideation, combined with my #4, Activator, was running the show—and that’s why I had so many false starts. But the moment I realized that, it changed everything. I learned how to dial it back and focus. And now, my husband values this part of me—the spark I bring, the fresh energy, the ability to get things off the ground quickly. Together, we balance each other out. I bring the fire, and he keeps it burning.
CliftonStrengths translation: IDEATION is my number #2 talent theme paired with number #4 ACTIVATOR.
“My husband hates to be told what to do.”
I didn’t take long to realize this one. When I’d try to tell my husband how I thought things should be done, it usually didn’t go well. He’d resist, and we’d end up frustrated with each other. But when I started suggesting things instead—giving him room to say no if he wanted to—it was like magic. He’d usually agree, and things would go smoothly. Turns out, my husband’s #5 strength is Self-Assurance, and it makes perfect sense. He grew up with a learning disability, hearing that he “couldn’t” do things. Over time, that fueled his inner confidence to trust his own instincts above anything else. Now, I respect that about him so much—his confidence in himself and the decisions he makes for us.
CliftonStrengths translation: My husband’s number #5 talent theme is SELF-ASSURANCE.
“My wife spends a lot of money on books and courses.”
Yes, that’s me again. I’ve always had an insatiable thirst for learning. It’s my #3 strength, Learner. I’m constantly diving into new ideas, expanding my mind, trying to better myself. But this strength, too, can be a double-edged sword if I’m not careful. I could easily lose myself in a never-ending quest for knowledge, but I’ve learned to give myself an hour each day to scratch that itch. And my husband? He gets it now. He understands why I crave new information, and he values the endless skills I’ve picked up along the way that have only helped us grow.
CliftonStrengths translation: LEARNER is my number #3 talent theme.
“My husband and I grew our local moving business to a million-dollar company in two years without funding.”
People love to say “work smarter, not harder.” But what if you did both? That’s what we did. My husband and I both have Strategic as our #1 strength! When problems show up—and they always do—we find ways around them, together. I remember one of our most chaotic days as business owners: a woman ran a red light and slammed into our moving truck in Virginia. Within hours, my husband was out of the hospital, I had secured a rental truck, and we were transferring the contents of the wrecked truck into the new one. We were back on the road, heading to New York City, and managed to make it in time to celebrate his birthday with a nice Italian dinner. We got through it—together—and we even had time to raise a glass to our resilience.
CliftonStrengths translation: Both my husband and I have STRATEGIC as our number #1 talent theme.
Here’s what I’ve learned: our talents are here to serve us, and when we share them with each other, they can make us stronger as a couple. Sharing our CliftonStrengths changed how we see each other. What used to feel like frustrating differences are now our superpowers. When you see your partner through the lens of their strengths, it brings a new level of understanding, appreciation, and love. I encourage you to share your CliftonStrengths with your partner and family—it could shift your relationship in ways you never expected.
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