Years ago, I came across a phrase that I couldn’t quite grasp:

“Love yourself first.”

It sounded nice—almost poetic—but what did it really mean? Was I supposed to write myself poetry? Give myself awards? Sing sweet songs to myself?

It felt a bit… confusing. But I couldn’t let it go. I wanted to understand. And so, I started my own little experiment.

The Early Days: Small Acts of Self-Love

At first, I kept it simple.

I bought myself flowers every week—a small, colorful gift just for me. Then, I pushed myself to do something a bit more daring: I went to the movies alone. (Yes, it felt awkward at first, but now it’s no big deal.) I even took a few mornings off to play “tourist” in my own community—discovering shops and cafés I’d never even noticed.

As time went on, I found more ways to weave self-love into my life:

• Setting morning “me time” on my sunny porch, reading or walking a trail.

• Scheduling lunch dates with girlfriends and hosting neighborhood potlucks.

• Choosing movement I actually enjoy: hitting tennis balls, biking fun trails, stretching like a cat.

• Investing in self-growth through yoga, meditation, and journaling.

• Prioritizing play and connection with my husband—hiking, skiing, golfing, or just playing cribbage.

• Receiving love from others without feeling guilty or unworthy.

I made all these small changes, and I thought I’d finally figured it out. I thought I’d learned to love myself.

But I was wrong.

The Deeper Shift: Becoming LOVE

It wasn’t until I did one simple thing that I truly, finally, fully loved myself.

I became LOVE itself.

That’s right. I realized that

love is not just something you do—it’s something you become.

It’s a way of seeing the world, approaching challenges, and treating yourself and others.

Love became my way of life. Whenever life threw me a curveball, I didn’t wrestle with it. I didn’t try to “fix” it or outsmart it. I just asked myself: What would love do? And every time I chose love, the answer was simple—and always right.

How Choosing Love Changed My Life

When I made the choice to be love rather than just feel it, everything shifted.

• Stress? I met it with compassion.

• Disappointment? I met it with grace.

• Conflict? I met it with patience and understanding.

Instead of wrangling with life’s challenges, I embraced them from a place of calm and curiosity.

And it worked. It still works. Years later, this practice hasn’t failed me once. I feel more peaceful, more aligned, and more myself than ever before.

My Dear Grownups: Choose Love

If there’s one lesson I want to pass on to you, it’s this:

Love is the answer.

Not just on the good days, but on the messy, complicated, uncertain ones too.
When you make love your guiding principle, life becomes simpler, softer, and so much more beautiful.

Ready to Start?

Next time you feel stuck, stressed, or unsure, just pause and ask:

Am I choosing love right now?
If not, give yourself permission to shift.
Choose love as your way of being.
Not because it’s easy—but because it’s worth it.

Q: Are you LOVE?
What does that look like in your life right now?
I’d love to hear how you’re choosing love today—drop me a comment or message me on social!