Have you ever been in a conversation where you just knew the other person wasn’t really listening? Maybe they were nodding along, but you could tell they were just waiting for their turn to talk. Oof. It stings, right?

Here’s the thing: intimacy isn’t lost when we stop talking. It’s lost when we stop listening. Real connection—like, that deep, soul-level kind—happens when we hit pause on our own voices and lean all the way in to someone else’s.

Lessons from Job and His Crew

Let’s take a quick trip back in time to the story of Job in the Bible (stick with me; it’s good). When Job’s life basically falls apart—think epic disaster levels—his friends show up. They’re horrified by what they see, but instead of launching into advice mode or spouting platitudes, they sit. With him. In silence. For a whole week. (Seriously, can you imagine doing that?!)

That week of silent solidarity? It was gold. They were just there, present in his pain, saying everything they needed to without speaking a single word. It was only when they started talking that they messed things up. (Pro tip: don’t ruin a good thing by overthinking it.)

Why Listening Matters (Like, Really Matters)

Listening isn’t just a “nice-to-have” skill. It’s the glue that holds relationships together. It tells people, “Hey, I see you. I hear you. You matter.” And if we want meaningful connections, we’ve gotta make listening a top priority. Here’s what happens when we actually do it:

1. We Show People They’re Valuable
   When we stop scrolling, stop multitasking, and actually listen, it’s like saying, “You’re worth my time.” And that? That’s priceless.
2. We Love Without Words
   Listening is love in action. It says, “I care enough to hear you out—your joys, your struggles, and all the messy in-between.” Sometimes, love doesn’t need words; it just needs ears.
3. We Grow Like Crazy
   Want to grow as a person? Start listening more. Other people’s stories, perspectives, and insights can teach us things we’d never figure out on our own.

The Danger of Talking Too Soon

Here’s where Job’s friends slipped up: they stopped listening and started talking. And their words, no matter how well-intentioned, made things worse. Sound familiar? (I’m raising my hand over here.)

Sometimes, we jump into “fix-it mode” when all someone really needs is for us to just… be there. We don’t need all the answers; we just need to listen.

How to Be a Better Listener (Without Overcomplicating It)

1. Put Your Phone Down
   I know, I know—it’s tempting to keep one eye on your notifications. But trust me, nothing on Instagram is more important than what the person in front of you has to say.
2. Stop Trying to Fix It
   Not every problem needs a solution (gasp!). Sometimes, people just need to vent, and that’s okay. Be a safe space, not a problem-solver.
3. Ask Questions That Matter
   Instead of assuming, ask. “How does that make you feel?” or “What do you need right now?” opens the door for deeper conversation.
4. Let Silence Do Its Thing
   Awkward silence isn’t actually awkward—it’s space. Space for emotions to breathe, for thoughts to form, for connection to happen.
5. Stay Curious
   Approach every conversation with curiosity. Like, “What can I learn about this person right now?” It keeps things fresh and engaging.

Listening Is Love in Action

Here’s the big takeaway: listening isn’t passive. It’s an active choice to show up, tune in, and hold space for someone else. It’s how we keep intimacy alive in our relationships—whether that’s with a partner, a friend, or a colleague.

So, next time someone comes to you with their story, their heart, or their struggles, take a page from Job’s friends (before they messed it up). Sit with them. Listen. And let your presence say what words can’t.

Because when we stop listening, we lose connection. But when we lean in? That’s where the magic happens.